Summer is prime networking time. Whether you’re scouting a new position, connecting to prospective clients, strengthening ties to associates and colleagues, or generally gaining new knowledge and contacts, there are plenty of opportunities to network at this time of year. Why, then, do so many of us do it so poorly? When thrown into a situation perfectly organized for us to meet one another, understand one another and potentially connect as allies, colleagues, advisors, motivators, referrers, partners, sympathizers or (gasp!) friends, we allow ego or uncertainty to yank the reigns just as our conversation begins to hit it’s stride.
Very often, our brief introductions to one another are forgettable and mundane. Missed opportunities occur when no one asks interesting questions to move toward a deeper understanding of what another does, what common ground is shared and how a stronger connection could be forged. Somehow, in our efforts to build our network we become blinded by our need to ensure that others view us in the best possible light, and we lose sight of the key ingredient in networking, a genuine interest in others. Stop thinking about the various ways that those you meet could impact your career, your reputation, your finances or your business and focus instead on learning more about them, what they do and why they do it.
- Asking questions demonstrates genuine interest. If you meet someone who tells you that they are employed as a Senior Risk Management Analyst and you have no idea what that job entails, ask them! Sure, you could probably make a reasonably good guess in your head but, here’s the thing, people like to talk about what they do. By opening that door you’ll learn something new, make a memorable impression as an inquisitive-type and possibly even uncover unexpected connections or similarities to what you do. Too often, when we hear a response to the question “what do you do?” we want to jump in with a comment that demonstrates what we know about that thing, that job, that company. Challenge yourself to be inquisitive first, and let the other person be the expert. “Oh really? Tell me more about that, it’s not something I’m too familiar with”. Once they have provided you with more information, then you can feel free to toss in your two cents. This shows that you heard and understood their answer.
- Connecting people to one another shows that you are considerate and confident. How often have you had a conversation with someone and thought “wow, this is a similar discussion to one I recently had with _______” Instead of just letting that thought slip away, try addressing it during the conversation. “You know what, I have a colleague who has also recently completed her MBA and is considering starting up a consulting practice. I should put you two in touch”. The person may or may not be receptive to this, but the fact that you’ve thought enough about their situation to make the suggestion shows your genuine interest and understanding. There is a fear that if we encourage our contacts to engage with our other contacts we may inadvertently be left out of the loop somehow. The reality is that linking people up with one another often works to fortify and expand our network and can set you up as a powerful “connector” in the minds of others.Don’t be surprised if others start reaching out to you when they’re looking for something or someone you might know about.
- Following up is good, following up thoughtfully is better. Certainly when you meet someone that you would like to have as part of your network you should follow up with them to express how much you enjoyed meeting them and where you see potential touch points between you two for the future. It only takes a few extra moments of thought to also refer to something that they mentioned when you met, or point out a specific thing that they did or said that resonated with you. You could let them know that you plan to try that lunch place they raved about or that you’d be interested in hearing from their contact that was hosting a seminar you might be interested in. Tell them the feedback they gave you on your presentation was useful, or that you hope they’re able to recover that umbrella they lost at the fundraiser. Email a link to an interesting article on a topic the two of you discussed. Send a great photo from the event that you attended together. Some indication that you fully absorbed your previous meeting with them will likely tweak their memory and keep you planted firmly in it.
Networking can get a bad rap because too many people see it as either a way to blow their own horn and attract attention or as an awkward and uncomfortable process that leaves everyone involved with forgotten handshakes and crumpled business cards. The reality is, if you approach it with integrity, honesty and a mindset of reciprocity, there is much to be gained.
